How Adopting A Trust-Fund Type Personality Will Change Your Currency & Flow

The only justifiable means for his personality is a trust fund. Except he doesn’t have the funds in order in which most would require to trust.

He prioritizes relaxation before work.

A thing my breed would say he’s lazy and pampered for “getting” to believe is allowed in life.

((((((((But he’s my proof that there is a middle way, and he’s shown me how to walk it.))))))))

He has no secure means to think it’s sane to wake up and drink coffee in a calm, before starting his moderately flowy day. Biking the kids to and fro. Working from home when it’s convenient for him to. Taking the time to work out and tend to household necessities while also being on call to five people he loves the most.

He doesn’t often worry about things that worry me for months, which used to make me think he was irresponsible.

Amidst all the ease he teaches me to take, he also prioritizes a daily “siesta” after he eats lunch. Just like my misogynistic grandfather used to do while my grandmother stayed awake, cleaning up after him.

He makes a lower than average American salary, but makes an above average American life that he indulges in the amenities of.

My God this used to piss me off.

Especially because he was living in my house and I’m a person raised by a marine sergeant so my sense of what his ease-based lifestyle meant about him, triggered me.

My kind of people resistantly woke up to alarms going off at which point we come to attention and rush to get everywhere we need to go. Even to places we don’t “need” to go.

Relaxation wasn’t on the menu in life unless….you were one of those pampered trust fund kids who resented their parents for having it too easy. That was the premise anyway. We weren’t “those” kind.

But apparently I’m about to marry one. Who sadly for the both of us and our children, doesn’t have a trust fund to back it up.

When it comes to home, work and business, he’s never been who my grandfather was to my grandmother. He always invited me to put the dishes down, put the worries down, put it all down, and just come relax. Which… also really used to piss me off.

Half the reason I “couldn’t” relax, I was sure, was because he was “too” relaxed and if we were both too much “that,” nothing would get done.

His invitation felt like a slap in the face to initiating positive change in our lives.

Who knew it would be that very thing, that was my initiation process, to positive change?!

The more I realized my “drive” was driving me into the ground while he was over there flowing on grace, the more I let off the gas, and stayed in neural when otherwise, I’d floor it. Which apparently saves a ton of gas, and on wear and tear.

I know how to go places on life’s terms these days, and not in a rush.

I’m more ok with where I am than I’ve ever been, not because I’m exactly where I want to be but because here, is the only place in the world I can go to to nurture the coming of “there,” and I’m happy to garden my sacred little lot.

That doesn’t always look like helicopter parenting the garden of life. Very often it looks like leaning back uncomfortably in the chair of oneself and watching things in yourself grow, and face the storms, and wilt if they must, despite your desire to have their season unfold otherwise.

Most of gardening is relaxing as things inevitably grow given the basic elements. I’m learning to let grow, giving myself basic elements and the proper allotment of time to digest the soak properly. And I’m learning to let what’s needed, be acceptable in my sight rather than resist it in a superego tantrum that I “should” need less.

His trust fund personality teaches me everything I need to know about innate riches. He lives by his values, which are family, quality time, fun, freedom, music, acceptance of self and other, and wellness. He doesn’t let his career define him. But what did define itself within the threads of the fabric of his values, is a career that in it’s own perfect way, affords him the opportunity to live fully into his values.

That’s how he defines success. Not by what others think of him, but by who he is when he looks out and sees the world.

And like Michelangelo’s David, life somehow chiseled a life he feels thankful when he sits back and looks out at every day.

In ways of energy, he has taught me more about what it means to be successful than anyone I’ve ever chosen to learn from. So I wondered who’d I be if I took that on.

If I really knew it was ok for both of us at the same time, to chill, and just enjoy the breeze. Or even a full afternoon binge watching Dahmer on the couch.

If I could live by my priorities of health, relaxation, awareness, freedom, quality time, ease, trust, flow.

If I could just let myself do that for a week, who would I be?

Well, I’ll tell you who I became. I became myself, just with a general feeling that I'm on vacation in my actual life.

For me, that week, turned into a season long practice.

And it’d appear that Chris and I have been on vacation together while we live our actual lives, ever since.

I used to hear about people living by their priorities. But again, I was a single mom of 2 by the time I was 21. That’s something that seemed only up for grabs to the trust fund kids.

What I’ve found though as someone whose practiced living by my values without the means to back it up, living by ones values is the energetic exercise that prepares you to be supported financially to continue letting them live through you.

In energy, it PAYS to live by ones truest values. You eventually become aware that at a heart level, it’s your kingdom assignment to live right there, in that sweet spot, that pays you more than it costs you of yourself.

Eventually, that energy, translates to finances.

Meaning, chisel it long enough, and eventually, you will be paid to prioritize your highest values.

The longer you live it, the more Creator will know you’re willing to LIVE for it, and very likely, you’ll make a living out of it.

IT DOESN’T COME FROM HARD WORK IN MY EXPERIENCE.

I’ve worked my ass off. Harder work didn’t change my wallet, trust me.

So, I followed my man’s lead, and have shamelessly adopted the trust fund type personality, despite not having the means to back it up.

We’re the best off we’ve ever been in every single way, and it’s not because a ton in our lives changed other than the ten tons of anxiety I poured over the fact that things were the way they were.

I shed some weight of my work horse mentality, and gave myself micro-doses of permission to be like the rich kids my dad always resented for not getting to be, while also shaming them for being it.

I let mornings come with quiet ease, and dishes be just-a-thing, not a whole deal. I take naps when I can, and offer myself time when i have it, which old me, would most definitely fill with someone else who wanted it, in the slivers of time, I actually had time.

I’ve always been a person who lived by my values, but I’ve never until recently given myself permission to DO the very thing I was doing.

I always held myself in contempt, telling myself I should do more, be more, make more, give more, know more or keep my mouth shut.

I antagonized myself constantly for being who I was. And valuing that which I did.

It’s not convenient not being like the rest of them.

My breed would rather keep itself in a shack in winter than sell itself to the devil for a heated mansion. I used to think it was one or the other.

I’ve come to know the middle ground as I type this from a seaside golf club in New Jersey with friends whom have both. Themselves and the mansion so to speak. Chris’s trust fund personality type, has taken me to more trust-fund-y places than I’ve ever been before.

I never quite knew that was an option for my kind of people. To not have to sell our soul to the devil to get what we want. To be who we are, and feel successful because of exactly that.

Not because of what that looks like to other people but because of what it feels like to us to know ourselves that intimately.

Apparently it is an option for my kind of people.

Our riches, are lived into by heart, and by heart, we’ve both become all the more richer.

I’d ask you what your values are, but I think it’s more appropriate to say, “Who would your trust-fund personality be?” in any area of your life you feel deficit.

Even those people who radiate confidence, who appear to have a trust fund of confidence that must’ve come from a wildly supported upbringing? Likely a lineage of women who energetically appear as an army behind her, meanwhile you feel alone and wilted inside yourself.

Whatever deficit you notice you have while other people are pouring it all over themselves, if you had a trust fund in that area of your life, what would your personality in that area, be?

I asked myself this once in terms of having two parents who wanted me. I imagined if I grew up with “that” kind of trust.

In the imagining, I figured I'd probably feel WAY more bold when I took risks. So I pretended I came from that, and took bold risks without it.

Ironically, also in this way, those risks, reversely, got me a bit closer to knowing what its like to feel like I have two parents that want me somehow. The bigger leaps I took, the greater distance they could see me beyond the microscope I was used to being sliced under. Somewhere in the distance, being myself, became acceptable to us all.

You’ll learn a lot about what your truest values are when you ask yourself who your trust fund personality in that area would be.

There is a middle way.

Where hard work is done with ease. Where time expands, and life is truly, actually, even in a totally traditional domestic situation, wildly scintillating and sensationally fulfilling. Where you don’t need everything to know you have everything.

Signing off to go party with full trust, in all the fun(ds) at some random golf club in Jersey,

To success coming from flow, not flow, coming from success,

Stac